Being a man comes with many disadvantages. For one, why is it incumbent on us to approach the opposite sex? Seriously, it’s not fair. Secondly, we have to shave constantly if we want to feel attractive. So by the time we receive our comparatively larger paycheck we can’t even enjoy it because all we’re thinking about  is having to shave in six hours. And the only compensation we receive – aside from the larger paycheck, power, and more respect overall – is “National Men’s Grooming Day,” a holiday without presents.

Whatever. Here are our favourite male grooming-related world records. Included are some men lucky enough to be able to do their own thing.

5. Longest White Chest Hair

Len Jackson is the luckiest man on Earth. For what woman could resist the raw, sasquatchian masculinity inherent in a 5-inch-long white chest hair?

4. Most People Involved in Shaving Off One Man’s Beard

What’s more sad than a man who can’t shave himself? A man who has so few friends that he has to ask strangers to help him shave, that’s what. Aside from that, nothing. Nothing at all.

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