It’s officially time for us to pay tribute to the brawnily privileged; the strongest of the strong; the toughest of the tough; the baddest of the bad; the whateverest of the whatever; etc. If we don’t, they’ll beat us up.

6. Longest Distance Walked Carrying a 40-Kilogram Weight in Mouth

How does a person discover a penchant for carrying heavy weights in their mouth? However it happened, we’re glad it did because this is incredible.

5. Pound-for-Pound Heaviest Single Dumb Bell Curl

If only we could all have the discipline record setter Jon-Paul Palmer clearly has.

4. Longest Time to Support Body Weight on Fingertips

Darryl Learie of Edmonton, Alberta sets yet another outstanding record. If this isn’t already an official yoga pose, I suggest we make it so and call it “Edmontana.”

3. Fastest Time to Recite “To be or not to be” Soliloquy While Shaking a Shake Weight

“The passion! The melancholic vitality! Now, that’s acting! And it’s all thanks to the Shake Weight®!”

2. Most Back of Hand Push-Ups in One Minute While Wearing a 119-Pound Backpack

Shaun McDaniel, you continue to amaze us. Feel free to nap for the rest of your life.

1. Longest Time to Balance Lawn Mower on Chin

Epic record setter Brian Pankey upped the ante with this risky feat.

Think you can beat any of these records? … No? … Fine, then browse our challenges and see if there’s anything there you can beat. If not, set an original record and submit it here.