The days of the material world are over. We have moved into the digital realm. We talk to each other lyk dis and everything is very cncs (concise). We have no time 4 vowels or long wrds. We’ve got tngs 2 do n c, and don’t have time for sincere human interaction. Within time we’ll all exist strictly on the internet, in digital form. It sounds horrible, but we’ll save a ton of money on food.

For those of you behind the times, here is some social media behavior which will be commonplace in our future world.

 8. Most Notes on a Tumblr Post

This Tumblr note currently has over 2,800,000 notes, which means it’s been “liked” or re-blogged that many times. We’re hoping that all 2+ million of those notes are “likes,” as opposed to re-blogs. Otherwise, we’ve got some wizards on our hands. Or liars… which are even worse.

7. Most Positive Messages Tweeted to Someone Fighting Cancer in 24 Hours

This record would not have been possible without social media. The only alternative would have been to organize a stampede of well-wishers at Bena Roberts’ door and that would have been chaos. But the important aspect of this record attempt is its good-naturedness. They say that mental health can actually improve physical health.* So, by my calculations, Twitter cures cancer. Thanks for wasting everyone’s time and money, doctors.

*Citation needed.

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